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If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.
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Understanding Your Situation
If you're here, you may be looking for answers - for yourself, for someone you care about, or simply because something doesn't feel right.
Below, you'll find information about different forms of abuse, warning signs to be aware of, practical safety considerations, and resources that may help you better understand your situation. You don't need to read everything at once. Simply scroll through the sections that seem most relevant to you.
Remember, abuse is not always physical, and you don't have to face it alone.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one person to gain power and control over another person in an intimate or family relationship.
Abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, financial, spiritual, sexual, or psychological.
Not all abuse leaves visible injuries.
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is an ongoing pattern of intimidation, isolation, manipulation, monitoring, threats, and control.
Examples may include:
• Monitoring your phone or social media
• Controlling finances
• Limiting contact with family or friends
• Threatening children, pets, or property
• Constant criticism or humiliation
• Making you feel afraid to disagree
What is Sexual Violence?
Sexual violence includes unwanted sexual contact, coercion, exploitation, or behaviors intended to violate another person's sexual boundaries.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault occurs when sexual activity takes place without freely given consent.
Consent cannot be obtained through force, threats, intimidation, manipulation, or impairment.
What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence occurs within a dating relationship and can include physical, emotional, sexual, digital, or financial abuse.
What is Stalking?
Stalking is repeated unwanted attention or monitoring that causes fear or concern for safety.
Examples may include:
• Repeated unwanted messages
• Showing up unexpectedly
• Tracking your location
• Monitoring online activity
• Contacting friends or family members
Am I Experiencing Abuse?
Consider the following questions:
• Do you feel afraid of your partner's reactions?
• Does someone monitor who you talk to?
• Are you isolated from family or friends?
• Does someone control money or financial decisions?
• Have you been threatened, intimidated, or humiliated?
• Do you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells?
• Does someone repeatedly ignore your boundaries?
• Have you been pressured into sexual activity?
• Does someone monitor your phone, email, or social media?
If several of these questions resonate with you, it may be helpful to speak with an advocate, counselor, trusted friend, pastor, or domestic violence resource.
Digital Safety Check
Ask yourself:
• Does someone else know your passwords?
• Is location sharing enabled on your devices?
• Does someone else have access to your phone account?
• Are shared devices being used?
• Are you concerned someone may be monitoring your communications?
If so, consider using a trusted device when seeking help.
Planning to Leave Safely
Leaving an abusive relationship can be one of the most dangerous times for a survivor.
Consider:
• Important identification documents
• Financial records
• Medications
• Children's records
• Emergency contacts
• Safe transportation
• A trusted support person
Whenever possible, develop a safety plan before leaving.
We'd Like to Help
If you would like someone from The Ahava Project to contact you, please complete the confidential form below.
You can tell us as much or as little as you feel comfortable sharing.
We will do our best to connect you with resources, support, and next steps appropriate to your situation.
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